


Spooky Island

by silver_drip



Category: The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Avenger Loki, Crack Treated Seriously, Humor, Magic-Users, Necromancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-04
Updated: 2016-11-04
Packaged: 2018-08-29 00:26:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,508
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8468764
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silver_drip/pseuds/silver_drip
Summary: The Avengers investigate a strange island.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Temul](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Temul/gifts).



> Loki is an Avenger.
> 
> Tony is not.

* * *

 

“We’ve been called in to investigate an island. There have been sightings of the undead,” Steve said to his fellow Avengers. He pulled up a map of the island. “The main building is in the western part of the island. We’ll split into two teams, coming from opposite sides. Thor, Bruce, and I will head down from the north, following this river. Clint, Natasha, and Loki, you three will come from the south.” They all nodded. “Remember, this is just recon. No interaction.”

*

“Is it just me, or does this place smell like death?” Clint asked as they jogged to the tree line from the beach.

“It smells like decay, not death,” Loki corrected. Clint rolled his eyes.

“Is there a difference?”

“Decaying is fluent. Death is stagnant,” Natasha said as they slowed down. “A part of your body could be decaying and you could still be alive. This stench has movement to it.”

“That doesn’t even make sense.” Clint was whining. Loki let out an annoyed huff and handed Natasha a twenty-dollar bill. “Hey, why does she get money? I want money.”

“She said you’d whine in the first five minutes,” Loki explained. “I said you’d wait at least ten minutes.”

“You all have no faith in me. I’m the glue that holds this team together.” Clint was whispering loudly under his breath as they moved through the jungle.

The other two ignored him.

The scent grew stronger as they went deeper into the wilderness.

The other team hadn’t contacted them yet. No news was good news.

Clint let out a muffled grunt. Natasha and Loki glanced at him, on full alert.

He pointedly glanced down. His boot was nearly stuck in the soft earth. It felt like the ground was trying to swallow him whole.

Natasha and Loki weren’t having the same problem though.

Loki offered his hand while giving Clint a condescending look.

Clint made a face, but accepted his help.

They kept moving, undaunted by how the jungle had turned into marshland.

The satellite images they had of the island had showed a large empty area. They’d all thought it had been a field, but they had been wrong.

The three of them were up to their waists in the marsh with Loki leading the way, finding the safest path with his magic.

Mud was oozing into places it shouldn’t be.

Clint kept feeling thing brush against his legs. He was almost 100% Loki was screwing with him.

There was always a chance though…

The marshland ended abruptly, turning into jungle again.

Clint didn’t whine, worried that he’d stumble into another bet.

“A fucking castle,” Clint whispered twenty minutes later.

It jutted out of the ground at an awkward angle. There seemed to be an invisible circle surrounding it where nothing grew.

The scent was the strongest here.

“There’s black magic at work,” Loki whispered.

“Great,” Clint said sarcastically.

He climbed up a tree with a good vantage point.

Clint didn’t realize how uneasy he was until he unfolded his bow. His grip on it was unforgiving.

The other team wasn’t at their destination yet, according to Natasha’s hand signals.

Clint wasn’t worried. They could take care of themselves.

Natasha melted back into the woods as she continued to scout around. Loki was farther back doing some sort of magic.

Clint was committing the castle to memory, already having found three areas he could use to get to a window.

A shrill noise screeched in Clint’s ear.

He twisted around while raising his bow—

“Don’t!” Loki hissed at him from below.

They were both eyeing the skeletal bird that was staring at Clint with its one eye.

“If you destroy it, its creator will know.”

Clint lowered his bow as the creature let out another shrill cry.

It flapped its barren wings as if it was about to take off. Instead it hopped closer to Clint.

“What do I do?” he asked Loki, not taking his eyes off the strange creature.

Loki shrugged.

“Just ignore it. The creature is harmless.”

It cawed again and Clint flinched.

He deeply regretted not wearing the hearing aids that he could adjust the volume on.

Ten minutes went by with the bird screaming at him. It didn’t have any lungs, yet was giving Clint a headache.

If this was a normal bird…

It was stupid, but Clint was up for trying it.

He pulled out an energy bar and crumbled off a piece. He carefully placed the granola in front of the bird.

It turned its head to the side before pecking at the granola.

Clint let out a sigh of relief.

Movement caught his eye.

That and an oversized sweater.

The ugly shade of green hurt his eyes.

The sweater went down midthigh on a man who was carrying a dirty shovel. His jeans had stains that looked like dried blood. His boots looked expensive, but well-worn.

He was also wearing an old timey witch hat despite it being the middle of the night.

Clint didn’t want to know what he was cooking in the creepy castle.

The ones with the secret lairs were the worst.

_Cawwww_

The bird screeched and Clint flinched again.

When he looked at his target, the man was looking right back.

He started marching over to Clint’s tree.

Fuck, Clint didn’t want to be cursed.

“What are you doing here?! This is a private island!” He started waving his shovel around once he was under Clint’s spot. “Get out of the tree! That’s my tree!”

So much for the mission just being recon.

“A thousand pardons,” Loki said while stepping forward. “He was feeding the bird. It is one of your creations, I assume.”

The stranger eyed Loki while lowering the shovel. He leaned against it, considering the situation.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” He shrugged easily. “I would appreciate it if you all would leave before I have to call the authorities.”

“I have come here in hopes of exchanging knowledge, one mage to another.” Loki was trying to be sly, but Clint knew a losing battle when he saw one.

“Consulting hours are between 8 and 5 every other Thursday, by appointment only.” He waved his hand dismissively at them. “Now shoo.”

“This place is steeped with black magic.”

“I’m going to call the police now.” The man turned to leave before tumbling forward in a spectacular fashion.

What looked like finger bones fell out of the pockets of his sweater, scattering in front of him.

“Fuck, this isn’t what it looks like.” He scrambled to pick them up, but more bones fell out of the pockets. “Honestly, this is just a big misunderstand—” A human skull tumbled out of his pocket. “Oh, for fuck’s sake.” He stood up, looking ruffled and annoyed. “I have the permits somewhere in here.”

He reached deep into the sweater’s pockets, deeper than the sweater went.

Clint climbed down the tree, not believing his eyes.

“Here we go.” He pulled out a framed certificate. “Look, but don’t touch.”

Clint took a closer look. It looked real, but he wasn’t certain that a license to own human remains was a thing.

“It’s real,” Natasha said, having appeared without Clint noticing. “Coulson has one just like it.”

“Why does Coulson…” Clint shook his head, not wanting to know.

“Now that, that’s sorted out, I’d appreciate if you all skedaddled.” Stark, according to the name on the certificate, made a shooing motion with his hand.

“There’s still the matter of animated corpses being spotted on this island,” Natasha said. One of her eyebrows was raised as she spoke. She was more entertained than worried.

“My island is in the middle of nowhere. Clearly someone just made that up as a joke.” Stark shrugged.

“Then what’s that?” Clint pointed to an ambling corpse that had just come into view.

Stark looked at it and groaned. He pinched the bridge of his nose with closed eyes before looking back at them.

“First of all, Rock of Ages, you said this is black magic. You’re implying black is bad. Colors have no morality. The only ‘black magic’ there is, is like summoning sunglasses, or something.” Stark waggled his finger at Loki, who looked unimpressed. “Secondly, you see that corpse? He’s an organ donor. Bones and skin are both organs. I have his driver’s license inside, if you don’t believe me.”

Natasha sighed and Clint didn’t know if he wanted to laugh or was grossed out.

“We still need you to come with us so that we can get this all sorted out,” Natasha said.

“But that sounds like a hassle,” Stark whined.

“Either you come willingly, or we take you in by force.”

Stark seemed to be considering his options before shrugging.

“Smoke bomb!” Smoke burst out of the ball Stark threw on the ground.

Natasha and Clint jumped backwards, avoiding the potentially poisonous gas.

When it cleared, both Stark and the castle were gone.

Clint cursed under his breath.

The corpse looked at them and waved.


End file.
